Hanging in there

Loki is going strong at Children's Hospital Oakland. Albuterol every 3 hours, steroids and antibiotics seem to take their affect. Loki is tired yet hyper thanks to the adrenaline in albuterol. I wish we had a camera yesterday evening because it would have been a movie worth watching. Loki was WILD and hilarious. He moved, screamed, laughed, jumped, talked, kicked and pushed buttons non-stop for about an hour. We got a quick look into the kitchen called ADHD. WOW......

We have no idea yet as to when Loki will come home. We are waiting on test results and he needs to be able to handle albuterol every 4 instead of 3 hours before he can be released. Please, please let this be soon.

The emergency room stay was intense as it lasted 10 hours and Loki got scarily ill for a bit there. We found out there were some shootings (part of recent series of Oakland teenage shootouts) so obviously Loki was not a high priority. After
moving to the 4th floor our stay has been pretty good though. We have had great nurses, nice doctors and it is pretty quiet.

Today also marks our 8th wedding anniversary. I would have loved a date with my handsome spouse, yet we are taking shifts in the hospital.

Taking shifts is something we have gotten really good at. We have shifts for feeding, sleeping and yet again for staying in the hospital. How I would love to spend some relaxed time together with the man I married eight years ago. We promised to stick together in sickness and in health, during the easy and the hard times. We promised to support each other to grow together and as individuals. We promised to pay attention to ourselves, so we could pay better attention to one another. I think we are doing pretty good job at it. It has not been an easy year and it is not easy now. Whenever we think we soon may be able to let go our guards and relax, we are quickly shaken up by our reality that is Loki's health.

However, I think we are hanging in there. I wish though we could move on from hanging in there to doing well, or great or even fantastic. I wish we could have really celebrated father's day and my birthday. I wish we could happily prepare our trip to High Sierra Music Festival next week and I wish we could just be..... just be the people we are when we are not constantly under so much stress.

I am very proud at how we are able to handle our situation and still love each other so very much. We generally get along so well and I could not imagine anyone else I could move through this much stress with relatively happily. But man am I tired!

I hope we get a chance soon to sit down and enjoy each others' company for a few hours without worries, without interruptions and without needing to remind ourselves to take a deep breath. I hope we can celebrate 8 strong years together, reflect upon the paths we have wandered and fantasize about the exciting adventures that lie ahead.

I am going to take a nap as my two favorite men hangout in the isolation room at CHO!