Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Twins

As Loki slumbers on my lap I take the opportunity to write a quick post.

We near five and a half months of pumping milk and three months of breastfeeding practice. All of a sudden Mommy's boobs are not so happy anymore and have decided to produce less and less.......and less milk. Apparently this is quite common in situations like ours. If Loki does not breastfeed well by his third month corrected/adjusted age, there is a pretty big chance he will not be able to learn breastfeeding at all. In addition, if by month 6 of pumping the milk supply is not sufficient, it is hard to maintain a supply at all. However, rather than settling for this fact, we pumped it up a notch. Literally and figuratively.

As the Special Start nurse phrased it: "we are going to trick your body into thinking you have twins." That is a wonderful idea of course. I pump a minimum of eight times per day. In addition, we are still aiming for ten Loki-Breast connections per day, although realistically this comes closer to seven or eight sessions. Of course, the bottle is offered seven to eight times a day as well. Days here are pretty milky, to say the least.

Unfortunately the plan is not working well. My milk supply is not really coming back. I have tried a great variety of herbal supplements and teas, which initially did help. So the next step, since giving up is not an option quite yet, is the hard-core drug Reglan. This drug has a pretty scary list of side effects from simple diarrhea and fatigue, to symptoms of serious depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies - in the mom, not the baby, that is. So, we'll keep a close eye on me this time, and Dad promised to rescue me if I end up wandering around like a zombie, disconnected from reality. I am not too worried though. The more serious symptoms are less common and disappear soon after quitting. If this does not work I am probably just going to have to accept that I did what I could and there is not much more left to do to get the milk factory going again. But, I am hopeful for now. Especially since Loki has gained weight consistently for approximately two weeks now.

Our little dude had his second round of shots today, and as usual with unpleasant medical interventions, he behaved like his heroic self. He screams for a few seconds, looks at me with a puzzled somewhat disappointed face, and then just cuddles up happy with all the hugs, forgiving me for the pain I had him go through. Well, obviously this is my interpretation of the whole situation. He has three colorful band aids on his chunky, and I mean CHUNKY, thighs. He weighs 9 pounds and 7 ounces. Wow........

Mommy and Loki taking a bath:



Waiting in the doughnut for breakfast:


Suckie duckie is waiting with me:


Me and my twin:


We do look alike, they say. Just as handsome as I am:

9 comments:

berkeleygal77 said...

Amazing pictures as always! The one of you 2 in the bath is awesome. I wonder what it is about an acid reflux medication that stimulates milk in the mother? But regardless, you have already given Mr. Loki so many good defenses through the milk he's already gotten from you - I'm sure that's why he was able to come home when he did and why he's so chunky now.

marieke said...

O my cutie maludie dudie. It is even more fun to see new pics after i was able to hold him, cuddle up with him and feed him.
Lieve mom, you are doing all you can wirh the milk thing. Hope this last medicine helps out!
dikke kus voor jullie 3 X Marieke

Richard en Maaike said...

Lieve mom,
Wat een mooie foto's weer zeg!
Ik vind dat je tot nu toe al en wereldklus hebt geklaard met kolven en borstvoeding geven. Ik kan me voorstellen dat je er over loopt te tobben, probeer er zo rustig mogelijk onder te blijven en ontspan. Door alle vermoeidheid en drukte kan je produktie ook omlaag gaan. Het is moeilijk om er niet mee bezig te zijn, want het houd je juist erg bezig, maar dat zit het soms ook in de weg. En, niemand twijfelt eraan dat je niet alles eraan gedaan hebt om Loki moedermelk te geven! Ik hoop dat je daar zelf ook met al je gevoel voor kunt staan. Succes ermee!
Kus Maaike

Unknown said...

Ah, Loki, you are getting so big! And please remember Mama that you have breastfed him for five months though at times in an unconventional way. Keep trying--you may indeed trick you body==and even some breast milk from mama is better than none. Too bad we can't just borrow a nursing baby to help out here--but American culture makes this a bit difficult!
Anyway, for many first time Moms without all you have been through, lasting five months is hard. I made it for four with my first. Apparently she survived--she is
Associate Dean Of Admission at UCBerkeley School of Law--so I guess her brain turned out okay! But truly, I know how important this is to you, and it is emotional and nutritional, so don't give up yet! And boy do I remember what it is like to spend your days going from appt to appt to appt...even at home, it is exhausting. One wants the house spotless, one wants the baby perfectly clean and in a good space...but that all goes out the window fast! We are down to 1 appt per week, and the swallow study Friday may mean the end of the g-tube at last! But oh my goodness, that baby looks fabulously healthy. You are truly, as Jesse says, a hero. You must be so tired. Hang in there, everyone!
Cheryl

Unknown said...

Oh, here is Brianna's message as she is sitting beside me looking at Loki's picture with the mirror.
"Look, baby Loki is so cute, Mama. Is that Lijn's baby? Oh, so cute. Hey, look, I see Miffy! I love Miffy and the Miffy show is really cool, right Mom? Maybe Loki can watch Miffy with me and you sometimes, and have a tea party,okay?"

Kyra said...

Ha die Lieve Lijn,

Je hebt het zo goed gedaan, werkelijk! Wat een hel om te voeden voor (bijna) vijf maanden zonder die bevestiging van het drinkende en groeiende babietje aan je borst. Dit doen niet veel vrouwen je na hoor. Ik hoop dat je deze virtuele spiegeltweeling nu met extra hulp eindelijk eens echt mag gaan voeden, zodat je tijd overhoudt voor: jezelf (nee, niet gaan poetsen hoor!). En lukt het niet, geef dan die tweeling bovenaan je romp maar een schouderklopje! HOera voor de borsten!

Kyra

Anonymous said...

lieve Lijn,

Er staan al weer veel steunende en lieve woorden boven mij. Prachtige foto van Loki en jou en bad. Sterkte en vertrouwen in het moeder(melk) en (borst)voedingsproces. Met een lieve groet van Circe.

Richard en Maaike said...

KNUFFEL !!

Suzan said...

Lieve Lijn, Mooie foto's! Jij lijkt er ook weer een stuk minder moe uit te zien. Ik hoop dat dat klopt. Jammer zeg, dat borstvoeding geven zo moeilijk gaat. Je hebt zo ontzettend je best gedaan! Ik hoop dat het toch nog gaat lukken om weer wat meer te produceren. In een normale situatie is er met 6 maanden, of rond die tijd een dip waar je door heen moet. En ook bij 3 maanden of andere momenten. Bij jou is dat natuurlijk heel anders, maar hopelijk is het alleen zo'n tijdelijke dip. Nou heel veel sterkte ermee en veel plezier met Loki. Zo fijn dat hij er is!

Liefs,
Suzan

About Loki Sky

Loki Sky is a special little man. He was a very early micropreemie, weighing only 610 grams (1 lb, 5 oz) after 24 weeks, 3 days gestation, born to an American Father and a Dutch Mother in Berkeley, California on October 18, 2008.

On January 11, 2009, while still in the hospital NICU, his one kidney stopped working. It was repaired after three surgeries. After spending time in three hospitals in three cities, Loki came home on February 17. He struggled with eating, and then stopped in July, leading to 8 days in the hospital, a failure-to-thrive diagnosis, and a NG feeding tube. On October 10, a minor surgery installed a G feeding tube. Another procedure replaced it with a new one, and then again with a Mic-Key button in Jan. 2010.

In August 2010, he and his parents moved to the Netherlands.

Read about his first name.
Read & hear about his middle name.
See photos.
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