Obstacles

12:45 am: squeeze between open dishwasher and chair, walk around the edge of the table, do not bump into fridge, left around the table, bump into the bouncy ball, careful dad's bag on the floor on my left, turn sideways to fit between the high chair and bouncer. Left around the next corner, careful open dishwasher, clock on microwave still 12:45 am. Loki has been drinking for a minute. Just keep going. Around the table, in circles, ouch, hit toe on high chair, cat looks interested. Around and around until clock says 12:48, Loki stops drinking, back to bed.

3:07 close dishwasher, one less obstacle on our course. Walk around the table, careful at the high chair, toe still hurts. Loki drinks on left side, minutes are much longer at night. Can walk four circles around the table in 1 minute, something is not right with that microwave clock. Bouncy ball in my way again, push with knee while continuing to walk, otherwise Loki stops drinking. After what feels for miles Loki drinks for 13 minutes. Completely asleep. Back to bed.

5:10, is it getting lighter already? Walk around the table, getting used to obstacles, definitely easier with dishwasher closed. Loki is drinking with a strong suck on right this time, minutes seem to go faster again. Walk with brisk pace around the table, venture out to the living room area, make sure to see the clock when Loki is done. At 5:23 Loki has sucked for 8 minutes.

Total minutes of drinking 21, total number of feeds 3. Uhm, does 21 count as 1, 2 or 3 feeds? Who makes up the rules? I guess I do. Let's make it 2 feedings of 10 minutes each. Not much but oh well.

Get the picture? That's what the last several nights have looked like. Loki's reflux has worsened and he can no longer drink while laying down.

Loki continues to think it is fun to live up to his name. We cannot write a blog post bragging about improved eating and sleeping, or he will show us who is boss. As if we ever doubted that!


After last update, Loki's eating and sleeping went downhill again, not eating much, closing his little lovely lips tightly before the spoon could enter with yummy food, and not opening his mouth for the breast. More crying, fussing and little sleeping, day or night. Wow, my world has become minuscule and overly focused on food and sleep. After a week of frustration he ate better again for the past three days, today no interest again. Luckily a little more sleep than the two, three hours/night of last week. Although dad cannot yet feed Loki -we're working on it- he does wake up in the morning to take Loki into the living room so I can sleep for an hour or so. That helps.


I am so happy and grateful for how well Loki is doing, yet the constant struggle for food and sleep is rather challenging. I understand the families I have worked with so much better and much more profoundly than I could have ever imagined. It is so primal to want to feed one's child. Still getting comments from strangers on the street "aw, he's so tiny, when was he born?" geesh, what to answer? Even 5 months, his current adjusted age, sounds unbelievable with his current size. Still fitting in newborn clothes.

Oh, how I wish this boy would enjoy his food at least half the time so he would gain some weight.